Fighting Over Table Scraps
by PPP SSC
Summary: Eva and Cody have the same motive: Noah's well-being. Their conflicting interests cause them to fight over him. Rated T for violence and mild language. One sided Noah/Cody and one sided Eva/Noah.


Fighting Over Table Scraps

Opposites attract. It is a familiar love story. A man and a woman with nothing in common but their motive are able to make it work.

Commonalities connect. It is a familiar love story. Two people with everything in common including their motive are able to make it work.

This might seem paradoxical, but both can be true. The only problem is when one person is caught in the middle of a battle between an attracted opposite and a connected set of commonalities. This is the story of how such a fight began.

Noah was neither personable nor optimistic; he was neither friendly nor saintly; he was not a hard worker and he was not afraid to speak bluntly or sarcastically. On the plus side, he was brilliant; he had an amazing sense of humor; he showed concern for injuries others merely laughed at; and he was a better judge of character than most. He was not traditionally attractive, and neither of the people fighting over him were either.

This story does not focus on Noah, however; it focuses on his friends. Noah was part of a posse that contained other deviants. One such person was Eva, a muscle-bound, masculine woman who hated chauvinists and was not afraid to fight. Where Noah's strengths were in his mind, Eva's strengths were in her muscles.

Aside from this posse, Noah had another good friend. This friend was Cody, who was Noah's teammate and like him in many ways; they were both tiny, socially inept nerds. The differences were where their social weaknesses lay; in Noah's case, he was cynical and distant, blocking off many intrusions into his mind with impolite rhetoric. Cody, however, was overly confident, coming off as more of an awkward wannabe to many.

Cody and Eva both had one thing in common. They both cared for Noah quite a bit. Neither trusted the other.

Cody feared Eva, thinking that something could go wrong if she and Noah dated. Because of the extremely noticeable difference in build, and the likelihood that Eva weighed _at least _one and a half times as much as Noah did, if not more than that, he was often afraid that an abusive relationship would happen. He had heard the horror stories of abused men being neglected by the authorities, and was afraid something like that would happen.

Eva thought Cody was a weasel. Knowing that if Cody turned out to be the "player" that he always claimed to be—either in theory or in practice—then he would break Noah's heart, should the two of them have been dating. Another thing that she feared was that Cody's player persona would rub off on Noah, ruining the pure personality of one of her best friends.

Each of them would see the other with Noah, laughing with him, talking with him, maybe even trying to ask him out.

"What does he see in her?" Cody would ask.

"What does he see in him?" Eva would ask.

Eva was uncomfortable with the term "love", but she did feel a strong connection to Noah, that was comparable to many other crushes. He was so unlike the other guys she knew. He never acted perverted or creepy, nor was he an altruist who made her feel bad about her own moral compass. He was also a superego to counterbalance her id.

Cody did not feel this way about Noah, but thought that Noah was a kind, reliable friend, who would never betray him. His ability to speak frankly or at least scathingly showed Cody that there was little to hide; he trusted Noah's motives completely. Part of this stemmed from the fact that Noah trusted no one. If he trusted seedy people, Cody would maybe have been suspicious. Seeing the way that he turned up his nose at them, he was able to see that Noah found that sort of behavior disgusting.

These were the reasons neither wanted the other one to hurt him.

Cody asked Noah, "Hey, have you seen Eva today?"

"No, I haven't seen her," Noah responded, "Why, have you?"

"No," Cody said, "I was just wondering if you knew how much she weighed."

"You really think asking a lady her weight is polite?" Noah responded.

"Oh, well, I'm just curious, because she seems to be _a lot _heavier than you," Cody responded.

"News flash: so is Harold," Noah said.

"No, you don't understand," Cody said, "She seems _a lot, a lot _heavier than you."

"And this is surprising because…?" Noah asked.

"It's not surprising," Cody said, "I'm just worried about you."

"Why are you worried about me? Eva's not emaciated," Noah said, misunderstanding Cody's point to be about his weight rather than hers.

"Exactly!" Cody responded, "She's muscular, and you… well… uhh…"

"Have been atrophying since birth?" Noah joked.

"Yeah, you _could _say that," Cody responded. "I just don't want her to hurt you."

"She wouldn't," Noah responded, "We're friends."

"Yeah," Cody said, "That's how it always starts." He left.

Eva conveniently showed up a few minutes later. She asked Noah if he'd seen Cody.

"Okay, if you guys are having some sort of feud I'd rather not let it happen," Noah responded.

"Oh, no, it's nothing like that," Eva said, "I don't need him; I'm just wondering if he talked to you today."

"He did," Noah said, "Said something about you being dangerous."

"Why would he say that?" Eva asked in such a furious manner that it caused Noah to flinch and jump backwards, too intimidated to point out the irony of her inquiry. Noticing his stunned silence, she calmly apologized, "Sorry. It's just that I don't know why Cody would be so intent on scaring you away from me. Unless… he wanted to ingrain into your head that women were objects."

"Okay," Noah said, "Cody doesn't think that women are objects; that's just a persona he puts on under the false impression that women find it attractive. And even if he did, I'm about as easy to influence as the earth's revolutions around the sun. You know the second one is true."

"You know what, Noah," Eva said, "Maybe, you're right. But maybe, just maybe, for once, you aren't."

"Are you… jealous of Cody?" Noah asked Eva. She blushed, but quickly shook away the blush.

"O-of course not; why would I be?" she said, and then she ran off.

"Beats me," he said as she left, "Transparent."

"Oh, there you are, Cody," Eva said.

"Oh, hi, Eva," Cody responded, "What can I do for you?"

"Oh, it's nothing…" she grumbled. "I just don't want your chauvinistic attitude to rub off on Noah."

"You have me all wrong, Eva!" Cody protested, "I'm not a chauvinist."

"Yeah, sure," Eva said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm… I'm not," he muttered. "But _you _are _frightening."_

"And what is _that _supposed to mean? That a woman can't be strong?" she asked.

"No, it's supposed to mean that… whenever you're with Noah, I'm afraid that you're going to hit him or something."

"I would _never _do that to Noah," Eva responded, with fury in her eyes, "But _you _might try to convince him that I would, just so he wouldn't hang out with me anymore."

"Look, why would I even want Noah not to hang out with you anymore if it wasn't a valid concern?" Cody asked.

"You should let him make his own choices, Cody!" Eva yelled.

"So should you!" Cody responded.

Eva then punched Cody, leaving the latter lying helpless on the ground. "OW!" he yelled in an indignant manner. "See, this is what I'm talking about."

"I would never hit _Noah," _Eva said.

"Well, if that's the way you're going to play, Eva…" Cody said, getting up, and then kicking her in the knee.

She began to hop and then she growled at Cody, and she knocked him down.

Noah walked in on this. He stared in stunned silence for a couple of seconds, and then he jumped in the middle of the fight. By complete accident, Eva hit Noah, knocking him down. She looked alarmed at what she had just done. She muttered, "Oh, god…"

"Ow," Noah moaned.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Cody asked, concerned. Seeing as how Cody had retained more blows than Noah had, he glared at Cody's implicit insult on his strength. "I was only asking," Cody said sheepishly.

"What the hell was the purpose of this fight?" Noah asked. "Cody, you're not fit to fight a battle, oh, and, now we're even. Eva, you know better than to start a fight with someone smaller and weaker than you."

"Yes sir," she muttered sheepishly, pouting.

"So what was this fight about? Come on, tell me!" Noah demanded.

Neither Cody nor Eva wanted to talk. Then they both did. There was a brief period of time when each wanted to let the other go first, followed by one where each was willing to accept the offer. Clearly, some mediation was needed.

"Cody, you first, and then Eva," Noah said. When he noticed Eva looking sad about being under-prioritized he said to her, "I'm subverting the patriarchal idea of 'ladies first'." She nodded in approval.

"Well, you see, Noah," Cody said, "Eva is really strong, and I really _am _worried that she might hit you."

"And I'm worried that Cody's going to turn you into a player," Eva responded.

"So this entire fight was _over me?" _Noah asked, and then he laughed.

"Well, I suppose you _could _say that," Cody responded sheepishly, blushing at the implications of "fighting over" someone.

"You guys! Hello! I'm a bitter, misanthropic, sedentary homunculus! You guys are _fighting over table scraps!"_ Noah said.

"Don't say that," Eva and Cody said in unison.

"Not one statement I said was false. The 'homunculus' thing might have been an exaggeration, but still!" Noah said, and then turning to Cody, continued, "Cody, you're above this." He turned to Eva and told her "And so are you, Eva."

"I guess I just got a little jealous of all the time you spend with Eva," Cody said.

"And I'm more than a little envious of those things I've seen you do with Cody," Eva added.

Noah turned to her and said, flatly, "Really subtle."

"You… know how I feel, don't you?" she asked.

"Of course," Noah laughed, "How could I not? And Cody, I know how _you _feel," he added.

Cody looked embarrassed, "Uh, Noah, it's not what you think..."

"Trust me," Noah said, "It is what I think. Maybe not what I _wish… _but what I think."

Eva whispered in Cody's ear, "And he said _I _was unsubtle."

"Guys, there's no reason why an unrequited crush…" Noah began, and then whispered under his breath, "Or two." Resuming his normal volume, he continued, "…should stop us from being friends. And, hey, there's enough of these table scraps to go around. So, make up, please?"

Eva smiled at Cody, and shook his hand. Cody smiled back.

Noah felt contented. He, Eva, and Cody walked off. The next time that they were seen, they were all pleasantly working together. Eva would glance at Noah, and Noah would glance at Cody. Cody would briefly glance back, but Noah would be embarrassed by this and then avert his gaze in the general direction of Eva, who would in turn avert her gaze out of embarrassment. Eva and Cody would occasionally look at each other, and whenever they did so it was out of civility.

Opposites attract. This is the way that Eva feels.

Commonalities connect. This is the way that Noah feels.

This is why Eva picked Noah, and this is why Cody was picked by him.

It is not paradoxical, because both can be true. The problems only occur when two people of conflicting interests set out to prove the other one wrong. Cody's fear of Eva was derived from the fact that she was different from them, and differences can be frightening, particularly when the differences involve build and temperament. Eva's fear of Cody was derived from the fact that he was the same as Noah in many fundamental ways; the ones where differences lay could have been closed in either direction, and she feared the worst.

It takes a strong mind to accept both opposites and duplicates as friends. It takes a strong mind to accept sharing a friend with an opposite or a duplicate when you are the other one. But it takes the strongest mind to see the potential of new perspectives.


End file.
